“Grieving doesn’t make you imperfect. It makes you human” –Sarah Dessen
During the holidays, it is always hard to enjoy it without the presence of the loved one you spent many years sharing it with. It is hard to explain, year after year, that holidays are simply not the same. While it is hard, and the pain lingers grab hold to the mere fact that you are not alone. I also feel this very pain. Many times, I tried to articulate what this pain felt like. My words were always lost in my thoughts. However, this holiday I am praising God for the many holidays I did share with my loved one. I am rejoicing at the opportunity of creating new memories with my own family. I often imagine preparing my kids to go over and visit my mother for Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years. I never was afforded that opportunity. However, I was afforded the opportunity to have a guardian angel with me, not just on holidays, but all year long. You see, pain is similar to beauty. It is in the eye of the beholder. While each loss is different, take pleasure in knowing that you have a heart filled with memories, forever.
I want to encourage each of you, who know the depths of this pain, to enjoy this holiday season. Break the chain of grief with a smile from the pleasant memories. Realign the cycle of your pain. It is not easy I know that first hand. However, do something different this year. One of my kingdom sisters gave me an idea. She said release some balloons in your loved ones memory. Find something that you will enjoy that will also bring you peace. In addition, remember, your loved one is not gone; they just received a promotion from guarding you on earth to being your guardian angel from heaven.
Reflect on the scriptures listed below:
- “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” Psalm 34:18
- “Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” Psalm 30:5
- “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” Psalm 147:3
- “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you,” says the Lord. Isaiah 66:13
To the broken hearted: I remember a time where I completely gave up on God. I screamed at him, cursed at him, cried and just turned my back on everything that had anything to do with him. I even hurt so many people that actually loved me, just so they could feel that very pain I was feeling. However, ask me where that got me. Nowhere! You see, in life we have good seasons, and we will have bad ones. The bible tells us in Matthew 5:45 “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust”. If you are feeling like the loss of your loved one has something to do with what you did, that is simply not true. Ecclesiastes chapter 3 lets us know that there is time for everything. There is a time to be born and a time to die, a time to cry and a time to laugh, a time to grieve and a time to dance.
This season, I encourage you to dance away the pain. Spend time with your children, your spouses, your siblings, other family members or your friends. Laugh at the good times and fill your heart with joy.
Happy Thanksgiving to each of you!